Legacy

When I was younger, I never thought about having a legacy.

I just wanted to be a kid with a disability. I couldn't deny what people saw because I couldn't hide it, so I just needed to accept it.

It was hard because when I was young, I saw the other kids running, jumping, and swimming, and they didn't need the help that I did.

But for all the trials and traumas I had in my young life, there were always people who came into my life to help me find the path I needed to be on. This helped me become a better me. They saw something in me that I did not see or was too angry to see, and I had blinders on.

I had to open myself up to the fact that they believed in me and saw something in me that I didn’t. Because of this, I needed to do something to help others with disabilities. I wanted to tell them that it was going to be okay, I understand what you are going through, I've been there, and you will come out of this on the other side. The people and friends who I had in my young life didn't understand what was going on with me because I didn't want to let them in. I believed it was my own private hurt and I didn't want them to feel sorry for me either.

When I learned how to become an advocate, I made a lot of mistakes. I had mentors teach me how to influence others by the words I say and the way I carry myself. Now, I'm not saying I didn't have bad days - we all do - but it's what happens after those bad days and what you do to change the mistakes that makes a difference.

I now know my legacy is helping people find who they are beyond their disability. I help them discover their purpose and support them where I can. I will talk them through whatever they are struggling with.

My legacy is in the people I've met, the conversations I've had, the friendships I’ve made, the networks I’ve developed, and the influence I’ve had in creating necessary change. A legacy doesn't have to be a big change, it can just be ongoing dialogue for something that is affecting oneself or a group of people. It doesn't have to have your name on it, nor does it have to be anything you created. I want somebody to say, “I remember BJ said that, and I now understand what he meant. I am grateful for that lesson and for all those who taught me to be who I am.” That is the legacy I leave, so that is my advice to you. You don't need to be changemaker to leave a legacy, but you do need to leave the door open for somebody to walk through and help you find who you are.